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The topic of multi-generational living sparked several comments on the open post https://www.ecosophia.net/june-2024-open-post/ and even spilled over on to my journal here in my Trade Goods for the Long Descent Post claire-58.dreamwidth.org/4168.html There has also been considerable discussion of inter-generational conflict on the covid open post last week. ecosophia.dreamwidth.org/285650.html see "Vexxing Grandparents"
I had already considered posting on the topic of multi-generational households because I have given it considerable thought over the years as I contemplated my own aging. It is clearly a topic of interest to others, as is the related topic of inter-generational conflict over our approach to health and wellness. I'm re-opening the discussion here partly because the format on this platform is much more conducive to a coherent conversation than the ecosophia.net platform.
Despite the many barriers discussed in the open post I believe multi-generational living is an important adaptation with proven benefits throughout known history and around the world. Dimitry Orlov's discussion on the advantages of multi-generation households in "Reinventing Collapse" is worth reading if you have doubts about this. As the commenter on my Trade Goods post pointed out it may not be intact family groups that form these households. That generates it's own challenges that are also worth discussing.
From the perspective of elders who have worked to adopt sustainable living practices and have spent a lifetime accumulating skills the advantages of multi generational households are both in having younger people around to help out with more physically demanding tasks around the place and being able to pass on the skills we see as increasingly valuable to future generations as things unravel. Multi-generational living is also great for the children as more adults in the household means more interactions with close relations who have different gifts and perspectives and skills. Grandparents are more likely to let children help out too since they have more time to do things at a child's pace and less pressure to move on to the next task. Children love to do real things and they get a real sense of accomplishment from being able to contribute. Preindustrial households required the contributions of both elders and children and that necessity is likely to be part of life in the post industrial world too.
The real challenges as more than one person pointed out on the open post is the relations between the parental generation and their parents (the grandparents). There are lots of aspects to this. As the conversation on the Vexxed Grandparents thread showed, lack of shared values and different world views are huge. Personality conflicts and the lack of interpersonal skills for conflict resolution; changes in personality brought on by age related cognitive decline; and the fact that money, mobility, and the sheer abundance of industrialism, has meant that we've forgotten how to treat each other well. All play into our mixed feelings about living with our aging parents or our adult children.
The mismatch in childrearing strategies is also a big factor in the hesitance of many parents to involve their parents or step-parents in raising the children. As my daughter pointed out we are only a couple of generations away from the time when NOT spanking you kids was considered bad parenting. One of the things we don't have as a multi-cultural society that has gone through 2 or 3 generations of rapid cultural change is shared expectations. Almost every aspect of family life has been criticized, rejected, remodelled and run through a gauntlet of conflicting expert opinions. Childrearing practices, of the highest importance to both parents and grandparents, are likely to be contentious.
So, if we agree that there is a value to multi-generational living and that it is worth revisiting as an adaptive strategy for the long descent, the question become how to resolve the conflicts and overcome the barriers.
I had already considered posting on the topic of multi-generational households because I have given it considerable thought over the years as I contemplated my own aging. It is clearly a topic of interest to others, as is the related topic of inter-generational conflict over our approach to health and wellness. I'm re-opening the discussion here partly because the format on this platform is much more conducive to a coherent conversation than the ecosophia.net platform.
Despite the many barriers discussed in the open post I believe multi-generational living is an important adaptation with proven benefits throughout known history and around the world. Dimitry Orlov's discussion on the advantages of multi-generation households in "Reinventing Collapse" is worth reading if you have doubts about this. As the commenter on my Trade Goods post pointed out it may not be intact family groups that form these households. That generates it's own challenges that are also worth discussing.
From the perspective of elders who have worked to adopt sustainable living practices and have spent a lifetime accumulating skills the advantages of multi generational households are both in having younger people around to help out with more physically demanding tasks around the place and being able to pass on the skills we see as increasingly valuable to future generations as things unravel. Multi-generational living is also great for the children as more adults in the household means more interactions with close relations who have different gifts and perspectives and skills. Grandparents are more likely to let children help out too since they have more time to do things at a child's pace and less pressure to move on to the next task. Children love to do real things and they get a real sense of accomplishment from being able to contribute. Preindustrial households required the contributions of both elders and children and that necessity is likely to be part of life in the post industrial world too.
The real challenges as more than one person pointed out on the open post is the relations between the parental generation and their parents (the grandparents). There are lots of aspects to this. As the conversation on the Vexxed Grandparents thread showed, lack of shared values and different world views are huge. Personality conflicts and the lack of interpersonal skills for conflict resolution; changes in personality brought on by age related cognitive decline; and the fact that money, mobility, and the sheer abundance of industrialism, has meant that we've forgotten how to treat each other well. All play into our mixed feelings about living with our aging parents or our adult children.
The mismatch in childrearing strategies is also a big factor in the hesitance of many parents to involve their parents or step-parents in raising the children. As my daughter pointed out we are only a couple of generations away from the time when NOT spanking you kids was considered bad parenting. One of the things we don't have as a multi-cultural society that has gone through 2 or 3 generations of rapid cultural change is shared expectations. Almost every aspect of family life has been criticized, rejected, remodelled and run through a gauntlet of conflicting expert opinions. Childrearing practices, of the highest importance to both parents and grandparents, are likely to be contentious.
So, if we agree that there is a value to multi-generational living and that it is worth revisiting as an adaptive strategy for the long descent, the question become how to resolve the conflicts and overcome the barriers.
